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[justsayyes]

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Maybe I'll decide to care.

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[justsayyes]

"It is only you." And it bothers her and she doesn't want it to. "And even you, half the time I don't know if I want to punch you or-" She's not finishing that sentence. "It's complicated and I hate it and I'm just waiting for you to leave like everyone else does."

[biocomposer]

"I've already made myself clear, on that point," Elijah says quietly.

(Punch him or...what?)

"But relationships, friendships - they are complicated. I avoided them myself, for a long time. That's part of why I was able to do some...extremely amoral things, in pursuit of my intellectual interests."

[justsayyes]

(Or nothing. You heard nothing, Elijah, forget about it.)

"I know -" she clears her throat and rephrases more carefully. "It doesn't feel worth it. Being just me and my mission was easy. But now it's me and nothing and everything's hard."

[biocomposer]

"...I'm sorry," Elijah says, quietly, sincerely. It's probably the first time that she's talked about her current situation simply in terms of how she feels about it. About how it feels to experience it.

"I know I've said this before, but you can choose something new for yourself. It's not 'you and nothing'. It's you and anything. But I understand how that can feel overwhelming."

[justsayyes]

Maybe it's easier when she can blame it on the flood. Maybe it's why she came to see him in person, instead of staying on a communicator that's all too easy to turn off.

"The only thing around is the Barge. And I don't want anything to do with that."

[biocomposer]

"I don't know if that's entirely true. You've chosen a job," Elijah offers as an example.

[justsayyes]

"We made a deal. I lost. What, was I supposed to back down? I'm not a coward."

[biocomposer]

"The deal was about getting you to talk to me. I honestly didn't expect you to get a job on top of that." No bugs. "Regardless, you've continued doing it. And you do talk to other people."

[justsayyes]

"Hmph." That's not how she interpreted things, but whatever. "Stan needs to be shown he can't boss me around, anyway." Because she won't admit that she actually has a bit of fun trolling the old coot.

"But talking doesn't mean anything. It's too boring here not to, anyway."

[biocomposer]

"All right. So what else might keep you from getting bored?" Elijah asks, levelly.

[justsayyes]

"The frequent torment helps." Her tone is dry enough to put deserts to shame.

[biocomposer]

"No insects," Elijah observes, lifting his eyebrows slightly. "I didn't know you could be so positive about the floods, Jasper."

[justsayyes]

"I said that it's not boring, not that that's a good thing!" God, Elijah,

[biocomposer]

"All right." He lifts his hands. "Fair enough. Then are there any good things that might prevent your boredom?"

[justsayyes]

Jasper crosses her arms again, closed off and grumpy. "Nothing here is good." Just because she's ready - barely - to admit she's struggling doesn't mean she's going to be very cooperative with doing something about it.

[biocomposer]

"Maybe not at the moment," he says levelly. "So what could be good?"

[justsayyes]

"I don't know! Everything looks stupid!"

I'm sorry you got an emotionally scarred toddler for an inmate, Elijah. But here she is.

[biocomposer]

He really did volunteer for specifically this.

"All right. We've been at this impasse several times before, Jasper. Do you want to talk about why it's difficult for you to see a future for yourself?"

[justsayyes]

"No." Which isn't a lie, because she doesn't. "I don't know why, anyway. Not really." It's something she's been actively avoiding trying to analyze, because it makes her uncomfortable.

[biocomposer]

"That's why I'm suggesting we talk about it," Elijah says, patiently. "You're treating this issue as an immovable obstacle, but I don't think it is one."

[justsayyes]

"How do you know I'll even be any good at doing something else?"

[biocomposer]

"I don't," Elijah says solemnly. "Neither of us do. This is going to be - alien, to you. Gems are created already in possession of the skills they're judged to need. Humans are used to having to choose, practice and develop the skills that we want to ultimately benefit from. You're going to have to do that too."

[justsayyes]

"That sounds hard and dumb."

Luckily for her, calling something dumb or stupid because it distresses her doesn't seem to trigger the flood.

[biocomposer]

"It sounds like a challenge. But a challenge which, in my opinion, you are more than equal to."

[justsayyes]

"I wasn't equal to the challenge I was made for." No bugs again, but that's a near thing. It's just Very Complicated.