"You're the only one who can prove anything about yourself," Elijah points
out.
"But let me offer my perspective. You were created to be a part of a
rigidly prescriptive caste society with little, if any, built-in tolerance
for change. In that context, you lost a creator whom you likely saw as
invulnerable. You were able to change your allegiances as necessary, and
make yourself a valued individual in ranks of thousands of creations like
you. You continued to deserve that distinction when you were ordered -
forced - to return to the site of your early trauma. Most recently, you
learned that your lost creator was, in fact, capable of deception and
disloyalty of a kind that your entire culture had seemingly no concept of.
That, too, could have broken you. Shattered you, as you say. But time after
time, you have proven your adaptability and resilience."
"I don't know. I thought I did. I thought bringing Rose down would make everything... worth it. It's why I - at least when I failed, it was doing something important." It's how she ended up here.
"But that's interesting. You said you don't know," he points out. "That's
distinct from 'I do know, and it's the rest of eternity on a spacefaring
prison ship'."
He smiles. It's audible.
"I can't imagine how difficult it's going to be for you to continue this
process of defining for yourself what your life is going to be. But you're
not going to do it alone."
"I can take a hint. But you should give it some thought."
He starts getting to his feet.
"And if you're getting snagged on your future contentment being predicated
on something that...seems impossible, remember you'll have the power to
fix that."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." She still doesn't believe he'll give her his deal, or even that they have the power everyone here seems to think. It's easier to dismiss the possibility entirely.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 05:49 pm (UTC)"You're the only one who can prove anything about yourself," Elijah points out.
"But let me offer my perspective. You were created to be a part of a rigidly prescriptive caste society with little, if any, built-in tolerance for change. In that context, you lost a creator whom you likely saw as invulnerable. You were able to change your allegiances as necessary, and make yourself a valued individual in ranks of thousands of creations like you. You continued to deserve that distinction when you were ordered - forced - to return to the site of your early trauma. Most recently, you learned that your lost creator was, in fact, capable of deception and disloyalty of a kind that your entire culture had seemingly no concept of. That, too, could have broken you. Shattered you, as you say. But time after time, you have proven your adaptability and resilience."
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 05:59 pm (UTC)She's just tired of it all.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 06:12 pm (UTC)"Then tell me what would," Elijah suggests. "Tell me what success looks like to you."
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 06:47 pm (UTC)"Now there's just nothing."
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 06:56 pm (UTC)"But that's interesting. You said you don't know," he points out. "That's distinct from 'I do know, and it's the rest of eternity on a spacefaring prison ship'."
He smiles. It's audible.
"I can't imagine how difficult it's going to be for you to continue this process of defining for yourself what your life is going to be. But you're not going to do it alone."
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 07:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 07:32 pm (UTC)"I can take a hint. But you should give it some thought."
He starts getting to his feet.
"And if you're getting snagged on your future contentment being predicated on something that...seems impossible, remember you'll have the power to fix that."
His deal is very much still on the table.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 08:09 pm (UTC)"Indeed. Take care, Jasper."
And he really will leave her alone - for today, at least.